Each of us has masculine and feminine energies. We are meticulously designed to flow between them as necessary so that we can access everything we’ve ever required and desired in life.
Most of us, when we were younger, were encouraged and guided to be a certain way. It was a matter of “This way will keep you out of trouble, or keep you safe, or ensure you are loved and secure,” so we shut down a part of ourselves that is our Divine Truth. We would feel ok for a while until we discovered there is way more depth to our Being, and this part was not being acknowledged, was not present in our lives, and not alive anymore. If you feel this way now, you are not alone.
At various moments, I have experienced deep sadness and grief, then even some anger and rage when I realized how much of myself had been shut down and quieted in order to feel safe and accepted. I became, at times to my own shock, explosive in a way that I had no idea I could be. What I discovered in the process, however, is incredible resilience, strength and inner richness by holding space for all of it to be a part of who I am.
Over time, I have been integrating one piece with another, and another, until all parts of me have come back to be expressed. And part of this integration is to make the transition between masculine and feminine feel less choppy. While it is still a daily work in progress, I smile at my ability to do so now with some grace, because like everything else, it is a practice… a building of a new muscle. It requires showing up for the journey.
For example, there are moments and spurts of time in which I am truly on a mission with goals and achievements in mind whether they be business or physical endurance or both. In these moments, I am more in the masculine, but then I must rest, restore and lean back into the feminine. For a long time, I was afraid that if I let go of my energetic thread connected to high performance, that I would have a hard time ramping back up into it. I would feel derailed and then inevitably disappointed.
Well, my darling, I discovered that this is a trust issue. It is I admit, a delicate balance between trusting that the Universe has your back and taking appropriate action versus your determination to do it all yourself. You must have the determination to do it — in which case, willpower is appropriate and an important muscle to develop. Then, you must also ask for support so that you don’t do it all by yourself. The determination is yours and the doing it all is not.
So, how do you shift from masculine to feminine with a little more grace?
The masculine: Schedule everything. This is one of the skills of highly successful people and high achievers. I schedule time to exercise, to work, to do marketing, to serve clients. I also schedule time to just be and hang out with my daughter, time to talk with my love, and time to be with myself… for example my daily dedicated bath with epsom salts. I am definitely an early to bed, early to rise person, and fortunately, it is a practice of the highly successful. So your first thing is to schedule what is important to you so that everything that is important has its own space. You will experience breathing space when you do… which brings you to the feminine. Ahhh……
The feminine: Within the schedule allow yourself flexibility. What does this look like for you? Within my dedicated exercise time, I get to decide whether today’s practice is running, hiking, walking, or stretching and yoga. This is where I honor how my body feels. My personal rule is to show up for my wellbeing in body and mind each day, and what I do within that timeframe is flexible.
In dedicated marketing time, I might write newsletters or work on my social media or call people to connect with them one on one. If you’re not mindfully cultivating relationships it is more challenging to be in business. Not that everyone is meant to be your client, but rather that your connection with someone has meaning and value, and therefore raises your vibration and theirs.
Another example of when I am fluid in the feminine revolves around what I eat. Since I choose to eat clean, healthy food, I only buy clean healthy food, and from that masculine structure of only buying clean food, I can eat whatever I want, almost whenever I want. I don’t have any rules about when it’s ok to eat certain foods. As a matter of fact, I am known for including dark chocolate at breakfast… and I’ve been doing this for years!
Do you see how within a beautiful structure of the masculine energy, you can move more effortlessly with the feminine energy?
Effortless here does not mean that it lacks mindfulness or action. It is indeed very mindful, and it is where you shift your entire experience of life. Mindfulness brings a certain quality to your experience, a certain elegance to your daily existence, and fluidity when moving between the masculine and feminine energies. It is up to you to discover your own alignment between them so that you can live in your desires, dreams and destiny.
Isn’t that what life is all about anyway?
I would love to hear from you. Email me back, and I will respond to your comments personally.
Françoise Everett, MS is a facilitator, feminine leadership coach, author, speaker and lifestyle business owner. She works and supports women entrepreneurs and women who hold leadership positions by unlocking their inner wisdom, feminine power, and hidden richness.